Every year I get so excited for January and September as I see them as new beginnings and times to set myself goals, but what I don’t usually do, is set myself anti goals.
This year I’ve decided to make a list of things I don’t want to be doing, things I need to cut out of my life and generally shitty things I no longer need.
I see a lot of people complaining about goals on the ol’ twitter, usually consisting of people saying they don’t want to make resolutions they won’t keep, such as losing that half a stone from christmas or taking up a foreign language. Half of me wants to help them set real, achievable goals and the other half is so jealous of how sure they are of not setting goals.
In that spirit, here’s a list of some things that I certainly won’t be doing in 2018 (well who knows, never say never).
Not feeling bad about not engaging
This one is going to turn into a bit of a twitter enraged rant so I am a little sorry if that’s not what you’re here for. I started the year with authenticity in mind, and all of my goals and these anti goals are focussed around that. What can I say, I am naturally a really negative person. I see people on twitter writing ‘be nice to everyone’ and my instant response is to tweet back ‘but why tho’ insert meme here.
What I see a lot of, A hell of a lot online is people shaming others for not supporting, uplifting and engaging with other bloggers. That old ‘pay attention to who isn’t clapping’ BS has to stop this year, and for me, I am certainly no longer going to feel guilty for instantly thinking these tweets are crap.
I am not for one second saying don’t support your favourite bloggers and youtubers, but the idea that we must all spend every spare moment of our days lifting others up is both tiring and unstable. In a real world scenario nobody works like this, I barely get a thanks for a lot of the work I do in my day job, but I do it, I enjoy what I do and when someone does give me a thanks, or a well done I know it is authentic and earned.
I would love more engagement with my content, and I’m sure most people would love to engage with bloggers content more. But with most of the bloggers I know, myself included, also working a full time job. Engaging constantly just isn’t feasible, and we all need to feel a lot less guilty about using our time selfishly.
Almost every second of my time during the day is planned out, on my train journeys I tend to read, or meditate to music. When I bath, I watch youtube videos so can’t always comment for obvious reasons. When I do have the time, and when I see something I love I always comment but to comment just for the sake of it seems rather childish, 2009 f4f comes to mind.
1 second a day
I was on the train home on 3rd Jan when I saw a youtuber post their 1 second a day video from 2017, and I was so annoyed with myself that I forgot to download the app on 1st January to make my own 2018 video.
why was I so annoyed with myself?
This sort of thing completely sums me up, I often get annoyed with myself for not participating in something that all bloggers and youtubers seem to love at the moment. I had no real intention of filming 1 second of my life everyday, mainly because my life is hella boring, but also because I have absolutely no time in my schedule to do this.
In 2018 I want to leave this guilt, fomo if you will, behind. In this industry it is so easy to be swept up in the latest craze, or the editing style everyone else is currently using, and I want to step away from the norm, and create the best or me.
It isn’t just limited to the 1 second a day video, throughout the year I imagine a whole host of new styles, apps or filters will crop up and I’ll want to instantly ditch what I have been building towards and creating for it.
So here I am, giving myself permission to say no to all these fads, and stick to my actual game plan.
Or rather, planning my instagram. Thinking about instagram and obsessing over it.
Like most bloggers, and a lot of people actually, I spend a lot of my vacant time scrolling on instagram. I look at all the aussie model beach babes who seem to live their best lives. I look at fellow London bloggers who somehow managed to make trafalgar square look ‘goals’ and scroll past amazing makeup looks.
Whereas most people will stop there (or check out their own feed for a bit) then turn off, I have found myself obsessively planning my feed. I am rather ashamed at how many screenshots of instagram feeds I have on my phone because I have seen a style and thought ‘OMG I can totally do that’.
What 2016/17 has taught me though, is that I am actually quite good at styling my instagram, I can find a popular style and base my instagram on it. The issue here is that it isn’t authentic and I struggle to keep it up. You can see this if you scroll through my instagram, in 2015 I had quite an authentic theme, white bright and everything I liked. I then tried to be an MUA blogger, I LOVED producing these looks, but after a while I felt like it didn’t really show me off. A little later I did the whole everything lifestyle thing in London. Again, this actually looks quite nice, but the more photos I uploaded the more this theme didn’t really represent me and it felt inauthentic. I also missed the makeup shots…. which didn’t fit with the London theme.
Basically if my theme could be me in jeans, PJs or full on beaten drag queen face that would be great.
I just want to stop trying to create the perfect theme, I want to stop obsessing over what is popular, whats trending and what my favourite bloggers are doing. I spend so much time questioning my authenticity on instagram, when what I should be doing is questioning the authenticity of the pictures I’ve seen.
Saying yes to everything
I feel like over the years, I keep hearing that we should all say no a lot more, and protect our precious time and energy. This resonates greatly with me, but for some reason as soon as I see someone asking for help online, I jump at the chance to use up all my free time. Even in my ‘real life’ when a friend invites me to something I have no intention of going to, I always say yeah sure, feeling on the spot then spend the next week making excuses as to why I can’t go.
Like a lot of us, I am forever thinking about what I should be doing and saying and less about what I actually want to be doing. Most evenings, I would much rather be sitting at home with my puppy, filming youtube videos and spending time with my family, than out partying til 4am.
2018 is the year I stop caring about what I think I should be doing, on a more personal level.